Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Nothing Else Matters

Abu Hurairah (r.a) related that Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) said,
"Allah does not go after your bodies and appearances, but He scans your heart."
(Sahih Muslim, excerpted from Riyadh-us-Saleheen)

Allah scans our hearts for sincerity and purity of intentions, acts of worship and good deeds performed out of one's dutifulness and piety to Him and Him Alone.

So if I scanned my heart, what would I find? The need to please, the need to be validated, celebrated, liked, followed, and appraised. The need to be voted the best in this and that.

Actually, no. That phase of my online life is gone. I am more concerned about the tracks I leave behind, my breadcrumbs which would hopefully fossilize into something that can benefit me when I am long gone.

I never thought that I would be so much like my paternal grandmother with whom I had spent most of my formative years, short of having a tepak sireh (betel nut palette) and tobacco ready for anyone wanting a morning chat when the house got quiet.

I am now wanting a tepak sireh, not literally, but something common that can bring good friends together at a drop of a hat. And a few ladies to come by and have a chat with me while we wait for Pakcik Seman, who manned the fish and vegetable truck. Or I could go to them. Then again, I am already blessed with communions with friends at least once a week. Anything more, I will risk neglecting my duties and responsibilities as the guardian of the fort.

What is it really that I want? *still scanning my heart*

A full life well-lived.

Does that mean I am going to have to tick box everything that I have not done before I kick the old bucket? No. There are a lot of ideas best executed 10-20 years ago. I have no regrets as my remorse has been offloaded to the best of listeners. And may I never revisit my dark days.

For the next 10-20 years to come, let there be purification and enrichment whilst I endeavor undertakings that befits what I allow myself to do without getting seriously hurt.

A full life of hiccups, glitches and that's-alrights, of small triumphs to the naked eye, but a mountain to Al Wasi', Al Aleemun Hakeem.

1 comment:

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