Time, these days feels like a gush of wind, blanketing your being from your toes to the top of your head, lingers for a few second to give you whatever sensation you are meant to feel or experience and then disappears fleetingly without a proper goodbye, as if it is late for an important date. I have had little pockets of opportunity to pause and reflect but chose to let them pass me by, and to be honest, a lot of time lost, sleeping at night when there must be more productive things I could do instead of indulging in my beauty sleep (or whatever that is left of it, not doing much to preserve that either)
When I so choose to have a quiet thought though, it is almost always when I have my conversations with Him, after a few minutes, I am oftentimes distracted. Even then my introspection and contemplation are rushed by something I had forgotten to do, or distracted by something I would like to fill my vision, thoughts and feelings with. Always motivated by what I want to do next or an alternative to what I was meant to focus on.
My attention span is likened to that of a _______. I don't even know what.
What are my current preoccupations, I ask myself.
A nice piece of furniture or art on the resale market. Or an impromptu coffee time with someone I have not seen for a while. Or what to cook, what to eat. What to buy. What to do next week, which requires some planning, booking, payment and all the necessary. And when I throw in what I have to do or prepare for my charge, my household and all, I am spent. Or am I?
How much time do I have left?
How does one live in the now? By not looking back, by enjoying life to the minute, moment to moment? I can't afford that. We are meant to plan and prepare for tomorrow. What happens in the now is the outcome of what we have set out to do yesterday. Today just happens. And you let it happen. Or do you?
When do we let go? The time I take to think about when and what to let go is the time I lose that I will never get back.
Like, right now.
My apologies for wasting your time.
When I so choose to have a quiet thought though, it is almost always when I have my conversations with Him, after a few minutes, I am oftentimes distracted. Even then my introspection and contemplation are rushed by something I had forgotten to do, or distracted by something I would like to fill my vision, thoughts and feelings with. Always motivated by what I want to do next or an alternative to what I was meant to focus on.
My attention span is likened to that of a _______. I don't even know what.
What are my current preoccupations, I ask myself.
A nice piece of furniture or art on the resale market. Or an impromptu coffee time with someone I have not seen for a while. Or what to cook, what to eat. What to buy. What to do next week, which requires some planning, booking, payment and all the necessary. And when I throw in what I have to do or prepare for my charge, my household and all, I am spent. Or am I?
How much time do I have left?
How does one live in the now? By not looking back, by enjoying life to the minute, moment to moment? I can't afford that. We are meant to plan and prepare for tomorrow. What happens in the now is the outcome of what we have set out to do yesterday. Today just happens. And you let it happen. Or do you?
When do we let go? The time I take to think about when and what to let go is the time I lose that I will never get back.
Like, right now.
My apologies for wasting your time.
No comments:
Post a Comment